How interesting.

For such a long time, I've been in an environment, where people think that if they cuss and are all "badass," they're "cool'.  Even though I sometimes act like that to fit in too, I try to ignore that feeling I get, but deep in my soul, I MISS hanging out with those pure, innocent, non-immature asians that I used to never leave the sides of.  Being around a ton of Chinese for a few hours taught me the many differences between them, and other Americans.  And not being offensive or anything, but I can honestly say that I really love the way that the people from tonight were much more open to talking to each other and walking up to me and trying to get to know me, before giving me a once-over to see if I look good enough to be qualified to hang out with them.

I hate cliques btw.

Education
What does it take to get a "good education"? Can you just buy it? And should be easy or difficult to gain?

Flattened by Thoughts

Before you actually go through the experience yourself, things seem so easy.  But once the situation happens to you, everything changes.  Things you thought once were are not, and people who you thought once were are different now.  The perception of your world is different once you experience something life-changingly new.  I've always thought love was an easy process that just happened because it was meant to be, no questions asked, but after being put into the actual dilemma, everything changed, and the once-was simple and understandable love, became much more than just that.  The drama revolving around it, the looks from other people, and the judgement in other peoples' eyes--you can see it all.  Every couple around you becomes more defined and important to compare against your relationship.  The looks they give you determine your world and perception of them too.  Everything changes.  And now, I feel lost. I've lost my understanding of everything in that world I once had built for myself.  Now, I have to build it again.  And find myself once again.

Love.

Love confuses me. What's the point of it and what does it mean? Is there love out there for absolutely everyone? Is it possible to fine one true love for the rest of your life?